


Then/Now

by starsqwub



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Abandonment, Family, Family Feels, Fluff and Angst, Gen, Home, Multi, Post-Star Wars: The Rise of Skywalker
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-04-01
Updated: 2020-04-06
Packaged: 2021-02-28 21:27:36
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,460
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23423947
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/starsqwub/pseuds/starsqwub
Summary: Growing up on Jakku wasn't easy for resilient little Rey... but she would face its hardships a thousand times over, so long as Finn found her again.(A short series of reflections on Rey's past and present. <3)
Relationships: Finn & Rey (Star Wars), Kylo Ren & Rey, Leia Organa & Rey, Poe Dameron & Finn & Rey, Poe Dameron & Rey, Poe Dameron/Finn, Rey & Han Solo, Rey & Rose Tico
Comments: 9
Kudos: 24





	1. Small/Tall

**Author's Note:**

> Been meaning to do some quick stories about Rey's childhood for a while now!! I hope you'll enjoy them. <3

_Then_

Rey was twelve. She was getting taller, and lankier, and every month she would scratch her height into the metal hull of the toppled AT-AT she called home.

(Unkar Plutt had once described her as _abandoned_. Rey had never heard that word before, “abandoned”—but it already sounded bad in her ears. It sounded _broken_.

What it really meant was even worse.

But Unkar Plutt was mistaken, of course. Rey wasn’t abandoned. Neither was the AT-AT she lived in. Rey had found it, and turned it into the closest thing anyone could call home in all of Jakku. She would wager ten portions that Unkar Plutt himself would be extremely jealous of how warm the AT-AT kept her at night, and of all the amazing toys she’d made to pass the time with.

He was so, so wrong. Rey wasn’t abandoned. Rey wasn’t broken.)

“I’m a giant,” Rey whispered to herself, appreciating the newest mark she’d carved to record her height. Then, voice raised, she called, “I’ll be as tall as you were someday.”

The AT-AT’s metal body creaked and groaned under the pressure of Jakku’s blistering winds just outside. Rey liked to pretend that the sounds her AT-AT made were that of an ancient tongue, and that she was the only soul in all the galaxy with the gift to understand it. Its long, stoic groans would tell her, “Good morning, Rey,” or “Come back soon,” or “Show me what you found today,” or “Thank you for finding me.” And she’d always answer very kindly, because she was grateful for the company.

For a moment, Rey wondered how tall her mother might be.

She took a few steps back from the wall covered in her own measurements, and gave it a long stare.

How tall are mothers, usually? And fathers? If Rey was six marks high up the AT-AT’s belly, maybe her parents would be... thirteen marks high? Or fourteen? Would Rey even be able to reach that high on her tip-toes, to scratch markings into the hull above her mother’s head?

“Remind me to measure them when they arrive, I can’t forget that,” she told the AT-AT, grabbing her staff and her goggles and her scavenging satchel from a hidden storage compartment.

The AT-AT’s metal creaked and moaned affirmatively in reply, and Rey left for another long day of gathering.

* * *

_Now_

Rey was twenty-two, and light, and free, and watching her two favorite people in the galaxy bicker over their heights.

“Your hair doesn’t count, Poe, and even if it did, I’m still taller,” Finn said, flattening the top of Poe’s curls with his hands.

“I disagree, I have absolutely always been taller than you, Rey, tell him,” Poe said, grabbing Finn’s wrists. He tried moving the younger man’s hands to no avail; instead, the two spun about the Falcon’s galley in funny circles, and Rey just laughed and laughed at her seat by the chessboard.

She raised an eyebrow as an idea struck. “I know,” she said, looking about her seat and the floor for something with a sharp end. She found a long, skinny screw in one of Chewie’s toolboxes stored in a compartment below her feet. “Follow me.”

Poe and Finn exchanged a curious look before following Rey out of the galley and into the Falcon’s main corridor. She pointed to one of the walls closest to accessing the cockpit. “Here,” she said, “Finn.”

Finn positioned himself where Rey was pointing. “Here?”

“Stand up straight. As straight as you can,” she told him, and Finn straightened. “Now hold perfectly still.”

Finn smiled, almost ruefully. He became still as a stone, a skill undoubtedly gained through years of training under the First Order. Rey pushed that thought away and concentrated diligently as she scratched a thin line into the wall just above Finn’s head. She took a step back and nodded. “Well done. Alright, Poe?”

Poe looked at the mark for Finn’s height suspiciously, like it might pull a blaster on him. He settled to the right of where Finn stood. He straightened, and Rey immediately stifled a giggle.

“What are you laughing at?” Poe piped up, voice uncharacteristically high. “Rey!”

“It,” Rey covered her mouth to suppress her laugh, “it’s just that,” and it really wasn’t working at all, and her smile was just about bursting, “you’d look taller if you weren’t always busy _posing_ , Poe!”

Finn grabbed his belly and erupted with laughter, which sent Rey reeling, and left Poe with a particularly unimpressed look on his face.

“Posing?” he said, placing his hands to his hips. _“Posing?”_

“You’re doing it now!” Rey squealed.

Poe observed his own position, hands akimbo, hip angled, forehead tilted just _so_ , and immediately straightened (adding a solid two inches to his height, just as Rey had said). “Just measure me already,” he mumbled, shooting Finn a quick glance.

Finn raised his brows teasingly, and Poe blushed, ultra-pink.

Rey recomposed herself and carefully scratched a mark above Poe’s head as well, just to the right of Finn’s. Poe and Rey stepped away and joined Finn in the middle of the corridor, and the three stared at the two new marks carved into the wall before them.

They were silent for a bit. Poe was finally the first to speak, his brow drawn very seriously. “Well. It’s only by a fraction, really.”

Finn nodded sympathetically. “It’s really not by all that much.”

“You’d said by at least an inch, if not more,” Poe gestured at the measurements with an emphatic wave of his hand, “and that’s not really the case here.”

“You’re right, it was an overstatement,” Finn replied, “totally baseless.”

Rey chewed her lip, studying the measurements closely. She rolled the metal screw between her fingers while the boys murmured.

“I will say, though,” Finn added, eyeing Poe, “if I may, General...”

Poe gave a short nod, voice gravely serious. “You may.”

Finn pecked Poe’s forehead with a quick, sweet kiss. “You are at just the right height for me,” he said, clearly pleased with the pink rising again in Poe’s cheeks.

“Point taken,” Poe said softly.

Rey faced Finn and held the screw aloft. “Would you do mine now,” she asked, head ducked shyly.

Finn blinked. “Of course.” He took the screw.

Rey stood straight against the wall, to the left of Finn’s mark. “How’s this,” she asked quickly, straightening even more.

“You’re perfect,” Finn said warmly. “Okay, hold still.”

Rey held her breath.

It was quiet in the corridor, save for the Millennium Falcon’s soft creaks and moans, and the tiny metallic scratch of the screw in Finn’s hand as he marked Rey’s height permanently into the wall.

Tears tickled the bottom lids of Rey’s eyes.

“There we go.” Finn pulled away, smiling softly at the newest mark.

Rey turned quickly to study the measurements. She dragged her fingers along each line in the wall; Finn’s was the highest. Then Poe’s.

Then Rey’s.

She turned to Finn and Poe, her right hand still pressed softly into the three marks. “Thank you,” she said, and her voice fell to a whisper, “for finding me.”

In a blink Finn and Poe’s arms were wrapped all around her, and she was warm, and laughing through tears, and thank the Force _—_

Rey was _home_.


	2. Guarded/Greeted

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Growing up on Jakku wasn't easy for resilient little Rey... but she would face its hardships a thousand times over, so long as Finn found her again.
> 
> (A short series of reflections on Rey's past and present. <3)

****_Then_

Rey was thirteen, and building something akin to a staff.

It was early in the morning. Her right hand was sore and poorly bandaged with old cloth wrappings, so the staff’s assembly was slow-going. But the day prior marked the last time she’d ever go out to scavenge unarmed, especially in Teedo territory. She flexed her fingers and winced; the bright red gash left behind by an ionized spear along her knuckles burned, as if she were grazing a star with the back of her hand.

(She’d foolishly mistaken the Teedo’s warning to her as a greeting, and had innocently raised her hand to say hello; her Teedospeak was still so poor, and her nature too naive.

Not anymore. Rey would always be armed, from here onward. No more waving, no more greeting. She wouldn’t ever need warnings, because she’d be the one giving them.

And it’d be best if they were heeded.)

Rey thought the staff was coming along rather successfully, though its appearance certainly wasn’t all that impressive. Like most of her possessions, it was made up of spare parts and primitive scraps. She gave its base and joints several tight twists, then stood from her workbench to appraise her handiwork as a whole.

It was quite heavy. She liked the way it felt in her grip; it made her feel balanced, as if the staff were a limb she’d been missing all her life.

Rey gave the weapon an easy twirl. Then, with a quick swing of the staff, she pretended to strike an imaginary assailant behind her, grinning as she envisioned them toppling over in the sand. Yes, this would do just fine, she thought, sticking the staff’s base firmly into the ground beside her.

Rey’s stomach growled so loudly that it created an embarrassingly noteworthy echo within her AT-AT. She lifted a hand—the bandaged one—to her belly, and patted it softly. “Well,” Rey sighed, “time for work.” She grabbed a few strips of leather from her workbench and fashioned a strap for her staff, slinging it behind her back and fastening it tightly. Rey gave her AT-AT’s entryway a light tap. “I’d like to see someone try to stop me now!”

Though really, deep down, Rey hoped today would be completely uninteresting. She hoped she would find quality parts quickly, to give her hand a good rest in the evening. She hoped to eat plenty, and to eat sooner than later. She hoped for there to be plenty of air traffic over Niima Outpost that night.

And she hoped for many other things.

* * *

_Now_

Rey was twenty, and the war was over. She woke up an hour or two earlier than planned (ever the light sleeper), and chose to spend just a little while longer lying in bed wrapped in her warm, woven blankets. Finn’s bunk was adjacent to her own on the Falcon, while Poe slept directly across from her. The two were sound asleep. _Especially_ Poe; he was sleeping on his stomach and lightly snoring into the crook of his arm. It made the corners of Rey’s lips curl into a smile for the first time in a few days, the way he was all coiled up, that goof.

Rey cocked her head to get a better look at Finn. He slept much more neatly than Poe did, flat on his back, with a hand over his heart. Rey watched Finn’s hand gently rise and fall in time with his chest, and began to match the rhythm of her own inhales and exhales with his. She closed her eyes.

“Rey.”

Rey’s eyes fluttered open again, though this time they felt much, _much_ heavier than she last remembered. “Hm?” she murmured. Her head sank deeper into her pillow.

“Reyyyyy,” the voice said again. It was Finn’s. His warm hand gently squeezed her shoulder. “Time to get up.”

“C’mon sleepyhead,” Poe crowed above her. “Breakfast time.”

Rey squinted hard at the two men. “But I...” She rubbed her eyes with one hand, then paused. “Wait.” Rey bolted upright from her bunk, stray hairs flying. “I slept through my training. I slept through my training, I was supposed to run the course.” She began scrambling about their cramped quarters, until Finn promptly blocked her path.

“We know you missed your training,” he said, hands held aloft as if she were a skittish animal about to flee, “but, tell us... how do you feel.”

“How do I...?” She mouthed the word ‘feel’, and glanced to Poe curiously. Poe only offered a short, encouraging nod.

Rey blinked, and then straightened a bit, gathering herself for a few steady breaths, almost as if she were preparing to meditate. But instead of stemming her focus outward into the Force, she poured it inward, into herself.

Inhale. Exhale. Inhale...

 _Exhale_.

Her eyes widened. “I... I feel strange,” she said, mostly to herself. And then, off of Finn’s concerned expression: “Not _bad_ strange. Good strange. Like... it’s like I’ve...”

“Rested?” Finn said, and his eyes were smiling at her.

 _Rested_.

Rey almost laughed. She grinned a bit, cheeks dimpling. “Is that what this is?”

“Oh, Rey, you don’t know the _half_ of it,” Poe said, tossing an arm casually over Finn’s shoulders. “Welcome to the wonderful world of _sleeping in_. Trust me, it’s incredible. You’re gonna love it.”

“This guy taught me all about it,” Finn said wryly, giving the pilot a nudge. 

“You’re a natural, buddy,” Poe said, leaning into Finn with a little sway. Then, with a clap of his hands, Poe added, “Now. Who’s hungry, show of hands.”

Finn raised his hand, and Rey raised her’s.

“Excellent, that's what I like to hear! Let’s go! Chop chop!” Poe bounded out of their quarters with a near skip in his step, and once again, Rey found herself wanting to laugh.

Maybe that’s something you want to do more of, she thought, when you’re _rested_.

“I’m ready when you are,” Finn said.

Rey nodded, quickly slipping on her boots and smoothing down her hair. She made her way to exit with Finn, reaching out of habit for her staff leaning against the entryway to their quarters; but Rey lingered, then, for just a moment. Her calloused fingers tightened about the staff's familiar metal. _Like two, who are one,_ she found herself thinking, looking up and down the weapon made from scavenged scrap.

Finn called her name again, softly. “Rey?”

“Coming,” Rey said, dropping her hand from the staff. She probably wouldn’t need it for the mess hall.

Probably. 

Finn elbowed her playfully as they exited the Falcon. “Let’s hope Poe hasn’t already made off with all the biscuits.”

Rey grinned, picking her pace up a bit. “Oh, he’ll have to answer to me if—“

“Finn, Rey! Good morning!” a voice called out, which Rey quickly found belonged to Kaydel Connix. The tiny blonde waved from a few paces behind them in the jungle’s thicket, followed by a beaming Rose Tico.

“Good morning you guys!” Rose called, waving a hand as well. Rey's eyes lingered on their smiles, and on their hands. The words 'good morning' rang in her ears like little bells. Like a _song._

And sure, it was a few beats too late—maybe her brain was bogged down from all that sleep, or _something_. But Rey lifted a hand and waved rather eagerly back, and with a breathless laugh, she called, “Good morning!”

Their breakfast was delicious that morning. 

Rey ate _plenty_. 


End file.
